Choices, choices, choices

Award shows have become - if they were ever anything but - pretty bland over the years so I was thinking about how the organisers could spice things up, even just a little. Inspired by the recent Twisted Celluloid screening in Cork, the Highlander concept was born. Picture the following scene :

15 years in the future. The static on the super-slim, barely visible tv/ipod/phone screen clears just enough to to make out a blood drenched stage, laced with body parts and splattered in tiny boy band organs. Stumbling half-naked - and back-dropped by a glowering, barely legible poster annointed with the crimson-soaked letters 'B', 'R' and 'T' -, a one-armed, mutilated humanoid resembling Rihanna mumbles through cracked veneers: "And the nominations for best album are....Adele". A cage in the corner of the hall snaps open to reveal the death-hungry diva, axe in hand, necklace of rotten ears strung proudly around her scar-ridden, battle-weary neck.

A dramatic pause ensues.

"And...Kanye West." An eardrum-slicing smash echoes throughout as shards of glittering glass fall like rain from where a multi-million euro sky-roof once stood firm. A dark, hooded figure glares in from the outside. The initial gasps of disbelief are followed quickly by whispers that wind quickly around the arena: "I thought he was dead?", "I heard he loves fish-sticks - why are you sniggering Brad?" and so on. In the blink of an eye, the once self-confessed genius shimmies down the rope faster than a caffeine-addicted cat, immediately squaring up to his unimpressed opponent.

With that, Adele Laurie Blue Adkins' head-hating hatchet removes the ridiculed rapper's expensive noggin with one foul swing.

Falling to her knees the large-lunged lady through gritted, flesh-hungry teeth spits :

"There can be only oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!".

Well a deluded man can dream I suppose. Until then here is the shortlist for tonight's Choice Music Prize with the winner announced later this evening in Dublin's Olympia Theatre. My tip? Tieranniesaur. The Dublin rockblockers showed me their mustard is as good live as it tastes on record with their recent appearance in The Pavilion.

The Shortlist :

Artist : And So I Watch You From Afar
Album : Gangs
Label : Richter Collective

Artist : Lisa Hannigan
Album : Passenger
Label : Hoop

Artist : The Japanese Popstars
Album : Controlling Your Allegiance
Label : EMI

Artist : We Cut Corners
Album : Today I Realised I Could Go Home Backwards
Label : Delphi

Artist : Tieranniesaur
Album : Tieranniesaur
Label : Popical Island

Artist : Pugwash
Album : The Olympus Sound
Label : EMI/1969 Records

Artist : Patrick Kelleher & His Cold Dead Hands
Album : Golden Syrup
Label : Osaka Records

Artist : Jape
Album : Ocean of Frequency
Label : Music Is For Losers

Artist : Cashier No. 9
Album : To The Death of Fun
Label : Bella Union

Artist : Bell X1
Album : Bloodless Coup
Label : Belly Up Records


  1. who are you putting your money on gman?

  2. It be a tough one you see as like all award shows you are trying to predict who the award will go to rather than who you think released the best album.

    Case in point the Mercury Prize. The hands down best album usually won't win it so the most "different" - be it good or not - usually has the best chance. Which is not always bad.

    Tieranniesaur have had a pretty stellar year so I would love to see them win it to top the past 12/18 months off nicely.

    Any predicitions yourself?

  3. Replies
    1. sounds cheesey NOW, but Jape doesn't do much wrong, ever :)

  4. In fairness he doesn't. Always love a bit of Japin' about I must say.


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